Saturday, July 31, 2004
8:32 PM
bloggie..today is crosscountry run~!but..raining..so the whole event cancelled..hmm..is tat a gd thing?maybe la..but then..this is our last yr of crosscountry in zh leh..a bit of a pity..hmm..anyway..ya..the few of us..ying xia..pearly..bee fang..went to shop for xiu yi's prezzie at j8..n we got very wet..then finalli managed to flag a cab tat brings us down to j8..then later i met yana n zhen hao at ps..ehz..mi very brite leh!but smth i have to comment..yana everytime say zh dun care dun care de..but i can see tat he cares a lot thru some small small actions tat he does lor..~!hmm..told ppl arnd mi to treasure the one they have now..realli leh..when u lost a person then u start to regret tat u nv treasure him..wads the pt?itz too late by tat time le..so..ppl!!muz rmb to treasure the impt one k!!
oh ya..then later zh went home..then mi n yana watched mean girls..itz a nice show!!!wad they said was rite..the guy..aaron samuels..real person called jonathan bennett is realli cute!!hahaz..i was like keep on saying..oh manz..he so cute!!not exactly gorgeous..coz he doesnt have the image of mi white horse prince..but..cute!!hahaz..tat show was a bit touching..about the relationship between the dad n lindsay lohan..the dad very nice..mi dad doesnt even talk much to mi in real life..tats y i got touched and..kk..i cried a bit..(u guys r gonna be sick of hearing this..but sorri la..juz cant control miself..hehez..;) )hmm..but tat show is realli true lor.wads the pt of being plastics when u r not who r u..juz like..plastics..artificial..fake..hardened..yep..hey!!i wan to watch 'the notebook'!itz about first love..n it seems like everyone also dun wan to watch!!how??!!how i find ppl to watch with mi..tat one i give warning first..i sure cry one..hahaz..coz the guy will definitely do smth for the gal tat will make mi touched..everyone also dun wan to watch leh..but i wan watch arnd national day time..hmm..how??who wan watch??
Friday, July 30, 2004
5:20 PM
bloggie..30th july..today is his bday..i passed him his prezzie during recess le..ive waitied for this day for so long..so long tat it used seemed like years..but these few days it seemed like decades n centuries as the day draws nearer..but now..this day..is juz a very gd fren bday..ya..tats wad i told misef..bloggie..i still..do..mi frenz all arnd mi all know tat..angels..u have ans mi qns..is it all meant to be..i realli wan to know the ans..he appears in mi dream every single nite..without fail..got 1 nite even appeared in twice of mi dreamz..bloggie........im alrite..but..i juz wan to know the ans..
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
5:42 PM
wahoo..so long nv come online le..k la..not very long..think..2 days onli..these 2 days wad have i been doing??hmm..studying..mi become guai a lot le k!!finalli started on mi prelims..whew..but..less than 1 mth onli leh..wish mi luck k??hahaz..of coz..n all mi frenz reading this too~!!hahaz..
hmm..mi nick is 'are u still there'..hmm..i dun think u reading this..but r u?r u still the one who is there for mi no matter wad?
Sunday, July 25, 2004
4:41 PM
im back!hmm..today leh..sianz..woke up early early for tuition..then in the end tutor sick..then come at 11.30..then 12.30 release le..she say today not counted..then..do hw lor..listen songs..hmm..then..tot of a lot of things today..hmm..u know..last nite i looked up at the sky..saw the stars..n the moon..very nice..realli very very nice..tat was 11++ at nite..then..stars still twinkling..got red..got blue..the moon..cresent moon..very bright..dunno y..there was no breeze..so the clouds stood still..such a beautiful nite..i saw an aeroplane in the sky..looked at it..hoping itz a wishing star..then..i dun care..closed mi eyes..made a wish..a very simple wish..a wish everyone wants it to come true..stood there for quite a long time..then thinking..back..again..then..brushed mi teeth..n went back to mi room..a very nice scenery..but no one to share with..coz..theres onli 1 person i know so far..who realli enjoys stars n moon..sunsets..as much as mi..n..i think..tell him also no pt..he shld be slping by tat time le ba..hmm..
u know??5566 coming to singapore soon again!arnd national day tat time..they going esplanade area i think..then sell tics..no need to go le..coz go le also muz see them far far away..too mani idols performing le ma..hmm..i also wanna go!!but not coz of they all u know..k la..partly..but..fireworks!!this yr national day got fireworks!!i know the last day of the fireworks is 15th..if i rmb correctly..i wanna watch!!esp go to merlion park watch..very long nv go le..!!missed there so much!the last time i went was..with him..but tat day raining..mi a bit slow..after a long long time..then realise wad he did tat time was for mi u know..quite touched..but after tat..nv go le..tat was the 2nd time i went there..1st time i went there i got lost..juz anyhow walk about..last yr dec..went there alone..then later went back to company..it was a sunday..down there..very nice scenery..then after tat..nv go le..hmm..but..wa..watching fireworks down there..with the river..shld be very very very nice ba..i wanna go!!but..no pt when i know i wun realli enjoy it..coz...........hmm..ya..u shld know wad i thinking le ba..hmm..i still believe..in love at first sight..and i still believe that theres realli true love..even at our age..the thing is whether we wan it to work or not..n if..we do try hard enough..true love..will..realli prevails..hahaz..think i daydream a lot..but who says the prince wun find the princess?i think he will..coz of love..hahaz..oh no..y i say everything also about love de..hmm..nvm la..hahaz..hey..ppl!!treasure ur loved ones arnd u k!!esp the special person..:D..
Saturday, July 24, 2004
8:41 PM
hmm..now eating mi dinner while typing this thingy..mi dinner..ehz..i finish all mi rice le left a lot of veggi n fish..browsing thru webbies while eating..so eating VERY slowly..25 mins past le..hehez..hmm..okie!!today arh..let mi see..!!the cheerful mi is back!!hahaz..went ps..with the 2 mattresses..(hehez..king koil..u know who??)jasmine..n li yun..then bought his bday prezzie..then also bought certain stuff until i dun wan go shop anymore..if not i'll be broke next sat then no money to watch movie!!hahaz..then reach home..chiong mi tuition hw..hehez..now finish le la..hmm..u know u know u know??!!!prelims coming soon le leh!!i think i starting to revise mi ss later..hopefully..ehz..no!!!today got xian ge ji yi!!i wan listen..hmm..dun care le..today do bio hw..tml then revise..hehez..sorri la..tats wad i tell miself every day until..like tat lor..until now still nv revise..hmm..nvm..i will..try to chiong de!!hahaz..try leh..better than nth rite??tml sunday leh..sianz..!!hmph..!!
Thursday, July 22, 2004
8:34 PM
bloggie..i finalli feeling much better le..!!yahoooo!!!now talking to him le..lalalalalalalalalalaz..~!!
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
5:20 PM
bloggie..is it the end of it all?juz like this?haiz..i still cant get over it..ytd..very very sad..have been :( for 12 hours long..suddenly..everything juz came back..i still wished it was a dream..i looked at him..his back view..tears formed mi eyes..i looked miself at the mirror..asking miself if i was realli with him once..haiz..still cant....i still cant do it..in sch..still avoiding him..haiz..itz..2 mths after mi bday le..too fast..realli too fast..
Monday, July 19, 2004
6:05 PM
bloggie..hez online again..n still i nv talk to him..haiz..u know wad..today i walk past his class..then i saw him..he also saw mi..then i juz turned n looked away..i still cant face it..when i think tat he cant see mi anymore..i told zoe..tat i wanted to cry..but i didnt la..haiz..i cried this morning..coz..i had a nitemare..n..i was going to die soon..n i called him..saying 1 last sentence..before i realli died..haiz..sorri..tat i had to hurt u so much..sorri is no use..i know..but..wad can i do..haiz..i juz cant get over it..
bloggie..clemence..haiz..i didnt wan to talk to him..but..haiz..hez like..keep on talking to mi..then trying to ask mi out..i know im being bad..but..i said tat i wan to continue to like him..tat y i dun wan to talk much or go out with clemence..he juz kept on talking to mi..i very scared i'll be the third party again..realli worried u know..haiz..n hez words..r realli freaking mi out..i know i mite be sensitive..but..how can u stand someone who calls u 'mi dear meimei' when i juz..haiz..wishing tat things cld be back to the past..but..i know..it wun..haiz..
Saturday, July 17, 2004
8:41 PM
hez online..n i didnt talk to him..i dun wan to..not now..bloggie..i know i cry every easily..maybe for every small minor reason..but juz now..i listened to mi cd..zhang shan wei..shi xin feng..itz not tat made mi cry..itz the song inside..4th track..'10 jian ai ta de shi'..everytime i listen i very touched..itz realli a very touching song..zhen de..if itz a guy who sang it to mi..i'll cry like siao..realli..hez rite..im a person who thinks a lot..i didnt wan to come online..for fear tat i'll see him..but eventualli..today i did..i told him a sorry..i didnt say the reason y..but i said coz i know ive hurt him by ignoring him all this while..tats y i said sorry..he didnt reply..n i dun expect him to..i didnt wan to listen to the cd..coz it'll bring back the memories i had in sydney..but..i still did..today..know wad?i still rmb tat guy..the guy who was the son of the person who was selling korean hot pot..tat was when i started liking to eat korean hot pot..i still rmb how he looked like..still rmb the name of the restaurant..dun misunderstand..hez not a crush or something..itz juz tat..when i saw him..the 2nd time i saw him..i got this intuition..this kinda feeling..tat i shld make frenz with him..u know those kinda gut feeling..but i didnt la..hez a korean..dun even know how to speak english..besides..im those shy type..
haiz..will this get past mi..haiz..
Thursday, July 15, 2004
5:32 PM
blog..our story ended le..i cried a lot..realli a lot..xin hao tong..n the pain is not wad words cld put it for mi to say..i didnt dare to come online..coz i know..when i come online..i will have to change mi status..mi words..now im changing..n im crying..things were happening too fast..i kept reminding miself tat hez no longer mine..i have to..or else i'll juz tot tat im dreaming..is fate playing with mi again?when i truly give it all out..i had it back broken..and it will take mi a long time to mend it..no..i dun wan to forget him..i dun..n im not planning to..u know how much it hurts to change the status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'..not too long ago..some bunch of guyz eating beancurd at mi flat downstairs..tried to stop mi n ask for mi no..but i ignored them..thinking..'sorri im..'i didnt complete the sentence in mi mind..i actualli meant 'sorri im attached'..but..im not..no longer..wo hao shang xin..but..im much better today le..thanks to shawn..his words realli helped a lot..now i dun believe wad anyone says le..i believe wad i wan to believe..mi frenz dun realli believe in wad i say..coz they think otherwise..but i dun..i trust wad shawn says..n i believe he aint those kinda guy..im still avoiding him..not looking at him when i know hez there..coz..im afraid mi tears will juz drop..li yun said tat she wad afraid tat when i stared into space..mi tears will juz trickle down mi cheeks without blinking mi eye..n when mi frenz tried to make mi laugh..esp at the end of the sch day..i will always juz cry n laugh at the same time..the laughters..the smiles on mi face is juz a mask..is nth..but a mask..i had to keep cheerful..though inside..im not..i juz had to do so..or else i'll juz keep crying..n crying..like wad i did at home..i used to think..were we meant to be together..?coz a lot of complicated things happened between us..but in the end..we r together..like wad he said..'wad tat is meant to be urs will be urs eventually..'but now..we r not..i realli cant predict mi future..i rmb tat nite..i was very tired from crying..n i fell aslp very quickly..but i woke up in the middle of the nite..and started crying again..thinking back all the things..till the morning when i had to wake up to go to sch..the next nite i dreamt of an angel-like,fairy god-mama person..she told mi something..n i rmb nodding mi head..believing in wad she said..but the worse was tat i cldnt rmb wad she had said when i woke up from the dream!!tat time i liked clemence for 1 yr 3 mths 8 days..n now i like him deeper than clemence..i think i will like him longer than tat..i think..i wun try to fall for another person juz to forget him or smth..i cant forget him..no way..n i think itz realli silly for a gal to do so coz itz cheating feelings..i hate it..i think..i still will..like him..oh..ya..clemence asked mi out ytd..he didnt know of wad happened to us..i told him tat i dunno if i will go out with him on sat..itz a one-to-one thingy..but im not going with him..i dun wan to..how will he feel when he knows about it?i guessed tats mi..i cared a lot about ppl's feelings..prehaps..i realli thanked shawn..im not as bad as the previous days le..but ytd wad shawn told mi about him realli made mi moved..n again..i cried..im a person who realli cries a lot..so dun mind mi..but..his words..realli..i wan to hold on to it..n i know i will..im very stubborn..i juz wan to continue liking him..ya..i know very well..tat theres a high possibility tat i mite not get anything but hurt instead at the end of the day..but..tats wad i realli wan..follow mi heart..n i shldnt be going the wrong way..
Sunday, July 11, 2004
5:18 PM
hmmm..online practically every day le..hmm..today..nth much..juz went to lib return bks..hmm..mi scared leh..prelims is like dunno how long away from now onli..40++ days..haven start revising yet..how..i dunno where to start it from..stressed now le..
hmm..tml sch again..haiz..will see him again..haiz..almost angry n upset with him for 1 wk le..haiz..think..i will..still..avoid him tml..............
tonite channel 8..think at 7 ba..got charity show..think 5566 gotperform..muz watch!!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
8:51 PM
hmm..im back again!!okie..i shall say about ytd lit evening first..im late ytd..but not mi fault..!!i left the hs at 4.10..supposed to meet them at the 105 bus stop at 4.30..then in the end waited for 20 mins for the 133 bus to come..so long rite??!!then in the end..reached at 4.45..but luckily they nv skin mi..ahahz..then the show was spirited away..quite nice la..the graphics..hahaz..coz didnt manage to realli get wad the plot is all about..hmm..but quite nice la actualli..hehez..
hmm..today!!today early morning go to sch..8 got chem prac..end at 10..then 12.30 got bio prac..ended arnd 3..then took photos for 1 whole hr..then go home..hahaz..hmm..got see him today..hmm..actualli we saw each other..then i turned away immediately..juz looking down on the floor..know hez there..but didnt look at the direction..a little..too hurt..u know ytd..i was laughing away in chem lesson..when i was sitting with wei ting n bee fang..but the things is tat theres nth to laugh at..then i laughed till i cried..i mean as in..tears came out..wei ting asked mi if i was laughing or crying..i think i was crying..coz..im realli very hurt..haiz..tml sunday..now i online luckily he not online..coz if not he online..i definitely wun talk to him..then things will again..be miserable..haiz..almost going to be angry for 1 wk le..when will it end..?haiz..
enough of tat..now..back to the happier onez..tml 5566 coming to singapore!!sq 29..arrive at arnd 11.30-12.30 like tat..hahaz!!woohoo!!yay..can see them le..this time they taking sq leh..the services will be much better..hahaz..oh no!i juz watched the advertisment..zhang shan wei going to have his album released again le..oh no..i no money to buy le leh..haiyo..
Friday, July 09, 2004
3:14 PM
yay!finalli got mi bloggie done after dunno like for how mani days..whew..hmm..wad shld i start off with?
okie..a bad one..im now trying to freeze the flame..i didnt know i was still angry..until today someone said tat since hez not doing anything maybe i shld carry out some actions..then i told tat someone tat it wasnt the rite time yet..true..but u know wad i tot inside of mi?i tot tat since hez not going to do anything to it..y shld i do?y shld i always be the one doing something while he doesnt even budge?i've tried hard enough..then i realise i was still angry..wei ting also said about mi..it is rare tat i'll be angry after so mani days..like..since sec 1..true..maybe..i realli cared too much..
kk..enough of tat le la..hmm..today the psc scholar came n talked to us..about clep(chinese language elective programme)..at first when he talked about chi lit..i was quite interested..then later..talking about the interest in chi n stuff..then i decided..nahz..im not going to take it up lor..besides..the jobscope for the future will be like..teacher..reporter..not tat i wan to be..mi wan to be social worker..then he also brought by an impt thing into mi mind..is like..we grow up so fast like tat..now burdens start building up le..have to think of our future n stuff..speaking of tat..itz like..48 days to prelims and i haven start mi revision yet..OH NO!!i was starting to study for mi ss ytd..but didnt have the mood to..so in the end still continued to read mi bk..hahaz..
later going off to lit evening..will leave the hs in less than 1 hr time..or else wei ting,bee fang n izyana will kill mi de..hahaz..mi chi dao da wang..hahaz..hope it'll be a nice show..!!!like sec 2 moulin rouge like tat..so memorable..n i'll be bringing mi pillow along!!woo hoo!!
2:37 PM
4E6 cLasS gAtHer|nG aT buGiS sEouL gArdeN!!
